Jumping Off Cliffs & Landing in the Future

I shouldn’t use a quote when I don’t know who said it or where I’ve heard it. It’s a pretty familiar one though: “It is never too late to become who you might have been”.

I have spent many, many years looking for my passion, my purpose in this world. Alomost 2 years ago I found it under the bar. I found more of it when I started crossfit last October. I found my place in this world when I began studying for my personal training certification. Over the last month my coach has been spending many extra hours studying with me. I couldn’t tell you when I last got more than 3 hours of sleep – 3 hrs being a treat. In case work was evacuated (it happens occassionally) and I would suddenly have some down time, I carried flashcards in my pocket so the time could be put to good use (I like to be prepared). The plan was to take the exam on August 10.

Over the last month I realized I remembered most of what I learned in nursing school. I discovered that my coach, already viewed by me as the best, has done an amazing job explaining lifts and programming to me, throughout my training. These two valuable experiences translated into having a solid foundation of the material. But I am a good student and I have a healthy fear that every question on any exam could be the select items I do not know and therefore I learn it all.

I became tired, emotional, sick, and stressed over the last month. Dealing with an injury did not help any of these things. I could barely stand myself so how my coach, husband, or co-workers could tolerate me is a wonder. Unable to stand it any longer I decided that sometimes I may need to have faith that maybe, just maybe, most of the questions will be ones I have answers to. And if not? One of the many things I’ve learned from weightlifting: Sometimes I fail. Honestly, lots of times I fail. At no time did a fail kill me. I’ve missed more cleans than I have made and I just stand up, re-position and clean again. If I failed the exam, what would I do? I would return to my desk, keep studying, and test again.

With this in mind, and needing sleep desperately, I took my exam today. 11 days earlier than planned. I jumped off the cliff and I didn’t die. I didn’t even fail. Actually, I had a fairly stellar performance. I am taking a moment to do something I rarely do: I am taking ownership of this accomplishment. I am taking the night to be proud of my hard work. And I am surrounding myself in joy, pride, excitement. I never do this. I am a master of trepidation, self-loathing, and worry. I am loving this moment of free, untainted anticipation. In all aspects of my life, I am finally becoming what I might have been. This is a moment to savor.

And now my coach, my mentor, my no-relation little brother will become my boss as well. This is getting complicated! I will need to get him name tags to wear so I know who I am dealing with at any given moment.

As for injury progression/hip rehab: I never did have any negative effects from the body weight squats and deadlifts on Monday so I will repeat these on Friday. If I am again pain-free I can begin to lift upper body heavy on Monday, including lifts like push presses to incorporate small amounts of hip movement. Lower body will be progressed slowly, for the first week staying with bodyweight or low-weight. I feel a WOD may be in my near future.

Life is beginning to move again. I better get some sleep so I can keep up!

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warriorgirllifting

Lifting is my love. I think it is safe to say it is the only thing I have ever loved in this life. After 20 years of battling anorexia, this Warrior Girl started winning that battle the first time I touched a barbell. Loving something is a powerful thing.

12 thoughts on “Jumping Off Cliffs & Landing in the Future”

    1. Thank you!! That means a lot. I am finding lots of humor thinking of the ways we could permanently damage my coach’s sanity if we were together in a room with him…good times. If you ever find yourself in Wisconsin we’ll have a WOD date!

      1. Oh it’s SO a deal! There is a coach at my box that I swear, my goal in life is to “break” him.

        I did get him to laugh and run away a few weeks back. He was working on mobility with me on my knee and told me to tell him when it hurt. It started innocent enough, but out of nowhere I started screaming “harder harder!” I thought he was going to die.

        It was SO awesome. I doubt he will ever be able to look me in the eye again.

      2. bwahaha! I told coach about my diabolical plan & he said “the girl from the shower?” My reply “and the Murph workout” (which we both admire your hard work on). He thinks teamed up we would have him crying in the corner like a little girl. I don’t know what the pained expression on his face was about, sounds fun to me!

      3. So wait, your coach reads my blog? Or you just talk about my blog to your coah? Dude, either way I’m so flattered… 🙂

        It sounds like I’m going to have to come visit. Where are you again, WI?

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