I have missed blogging. During my long absence I have often sat at the keyboard watching the flashing cursor but no words at my fingertips. It’s frustrating, depressing; I felt empty, voided. My life was changing slowly while all this blank space was occurring and the past month saw my life change quickly.
It started with the death of the man who my mother described as “the father your father never was”, my official retirement from competitive sports, and it ended with the flu. Obviously I wasn’t paying enough attention to the slow change so The Universe decided to knock me on my ass so I would finally pay attention.
Today – my first day running errands since Christmas – I was standing in the middle of Menards (a local home improvement store) and it suddenly occurred to me that I couldn’t blog because I no longer relate to what this place was. I was trying to flip a tire in the middle of a yoga studio. It just doesn’t work.
It occurred to me that I could just start another site, but I don’t want to forget who I was. Warrior Girl Lifting was – IS – the reason I am where I am today. I want the story to stand. I need the name to change. I am still a Warrior, I find Girl no longer suitable, and as for the Lifting, it is no longer central to my world.
And so begins some soul searching into who I am becoming now. What is it I am a Warrior of? Does who I was have space available for who I am?